Once again

Hello everyone! This is me, Ingrid. I’m sorry I was unable to post for a while. I’ve been too busy trying to participate. Everything is going quite good. Thank you all for helping me let go of the past and move on with my life. Such a burden has dissapeared and I have been smiling since. This is the blog of someone who was once unhappy with herself and life, but somehow moved on to better things. I know that a lot of you have been going through the same thing. Please believe me when I say, you will get through this issue. I know some days you feel like breaking down and you feel as if you have been shattered. You will heal, you have to believe that you will. I know his is cheesy… but just trust me, I’ve been through this as well. Depression and suicidal thoughts are not to be taken lightly. Please get a hold of someone. One of your friends, a family member, or an online therapy website. (7 cups of tea is a good website) please don’t let the sadness build up, it only makes it harder to break down. I trust you will take care of yourself. My life changed drastically after I just tried to be happy. Trying makes a diffe
rence. You will make progress everyday if you try to, it takes time and effort but I believe in you.

Until then, Ingrid

I’m better

I’m better. I’m so much better. I have this blog and my impatience to thank. Thank God, I’m better. Thank you all  for reading my blog and giving encouraging words. I’m through this. It’s all in the past. Oh, I’m truly happy. I don’t think I’ve ever said that… I’M HAPPY! 

Oh joyous days to come. I cannot wait. I can enjoy my life without feeling pain everywhere I go. Oh thank you. I have things I can finally do. Things I couldn’t do before. I can fill the emptiness that used to be filled with pain and fill it with happiness. I just, I guess I never actually believed in myself. It was a giant mental block in my head. And I was in control of it all along. Silly, stupid head. Oh gosh. Well, I am healed. Thank you for thinking of me. I love you guys.

Goodbye, childhood friend

Just because we are opposite doesn’t mean we can’t try to like the same things. But, it’s true. You can’t. You really can’t.
I’ve tried and tried to agree with my friend on things, but I totally disagree. We have completely different views on everything. And I hate to admit it but we aren’t as close as before. We might not ever be. We’ve known eachother for 6 years and it’s just now taking me to realize that opposites can never work. I love my best friend, we have so many funny moments together but I don’t see anymore happening. And I honestly can’t say that I ever see them happening again. We are growing apart. This was the friendship that I thought would last forever. I just wanted 1 friend that would last me through all of highschool, and college even. I hate this. I hate having nothing in common. I hate how easily it can be to break up a friendship. This sucks. This truly sucks.

To love and to be loved

To love and to be loved.  Two very different feelings.  Love is longing for something out of reach.  You just have to have enough courage to walk in that direction.  To be loved is very different from the feeling of longing for someone.  It’s knowing that you’re worth something to someone.  You know that you’ll always have someone there to back you up in every situation.  Or to be there when you’re sad and depressed.  Even if you don’t love them back, it’s a great honor to be loved.  Sometimes love can be deceitful.  But without love there would be such an emptiness of emotion.  Nobody could be happy without knowing someone is there for them.  Love is in every emotion.  Although they don’t show it well, people always love.  Even the most evil person can love on this earth.  Someone is always loved, even if they don’t feel it.

-Ingrid

Oh, College…

I’m not graduating this year, but my oldest brother is. There is seriously SO much work to be done. Graduation Parties are a hassle. To be completely honest I don’t think I would want one when I graduate. The reason for that is mainly the cost of everything, and the fact that I hate when attention is directed my way. That’s probably the reason why I’ve never had a birthday party. Anyway, my good ol’ brother is graduating, finally. He’s going to a nearby college, so we’ll still see him quite often. I don’t know if I’ll cry that he’s leaving but it is pretty sad. All of my childhood memories have my brothers in them. I’ll still miss him a lot tiny bit. 

Things to do when you’re sad

• Don’t listen to Bob Dylan
• Wear a big sweater
• Drink Tea
• Clean your room
• Go on a walk
• Make paper cranes
• Find recipes
• Watch ‘The Middle’ (or anything else..)
• Read the news
• Hang lights up
• Bake
• Think about how awesome outer space is
• Paint.
• Go to a cafe
• Sleep on a pile of blankets
• Cry
• Be okay at some point
• Go to the library
• Pick flowers
• Sit with someone
• Remember that there are always cookies.

That little thing called “change”

It’s amusing watching people change. Watching them hurt, watching them slowly build their walls up one by one. Knowing that they were such a different person before, than they are now. 

The way they act towards others completely alters in such a short amount of time. But no matter what, you could still see the person that was inside of them before. They’re still there, it’s still them, but at the same time it’s not.

Sleep Deprived?

I just want to take moment and thank you all so much for reading my blog. I appreciate your encouraging words, it really means a lot to me. Thank you.

I’m not actually sleep deprived, luckily. I just have a problem that I was wondering if I was the only one who felt this way… I can’t go to sleep if I know that I didn’t to anything productive today. Let’s say all I did today was be lazy and do a bit of school. I can’t sleep unless I do something that would benefit someone else. If I babysit, I’m watching someone so that a person can go do something, I feel useful. That’s it, I can’t go to sleep if I wasn’t useful that day at all. Is that weird?

Thanks for reading,

Ingrid

Myself as a Child would be Dissapointed

My Mum told me to clean my room, so I’m on WordPress.

I always had this perfect image of myself, how I would be in the future. When I was little I always thought I would be a professional Softball player or an actress. Something extraordinary for that matter. But I look at myself today… A sad girl with only her books to keep her company. I’m a bit appalled by myself. I wish I could turn the clock and apologize to my younger self for ruining my life. I was never a happy kid that’s why I always imagined myself happy in the future. But to be honest I get worse every year. My attitude has completely changed from the time I went to private school to now. I used to be outgoing, funny, friendly, smart. I guess when you’re not around very many people each day, something in you changes to become quiet. Nobody to talk to so you kind of just talk to yourself.

I doubt any of you have felt this way. If you have, then you’ll understand. I want to be back to the way I was. But, something in me refuses to change. I guess I will have to cope with it for a bit longer.

Hellurr…

I hate to admit this but my blog will probably be the most awkward blog of all blogs. Yes I said blogs a lot just then. Anyways, Hi! I’m Ingrid. I’ve heard my name is swedish and I’m okay with that. Even though I’m not the least bit Swedish at all. I’m Scottish and Irish. So yep I’m pale, for sure. I’m homeschooled for many different reasons. A. I like it. B. I hate people. C. I like being alone.

I get called weird almost everyday when I step out that door. Most of the time it’s when I open my mouth to talk because I talk differently than I think. For example, you mentally go through a sentence in your mind before you say it. Well, I do too, except my sentence comes out differently. If I were to stand up for myself and I had a long risky speech going in my mind. It would come out something like, “Be quiet”. It’s quite annoying. Why don’t you talk, Ingrid? I’M FREAKING THINKING, LEAVE ME ALONE. I hope that explains why I’m homeschooled. It probably does.

THINGS I LIKE: Any ocean, sea, river, lake. Fair fries, Owls, Chamomile tea, Iced tea, Dr. Pepper, Greek food, Baseball, Books, Socks, Candles that smell like vanilla, Flowers, Cameras, Vintage things, Slow music, Sand Castles, Wavy hair, Europe, Paris things, Working out, Writing, and being happy. 🙂

THINGS I DISLIKE: Fish, Elevators, Tornados, Hipsters, People in general (I have few exceptions), Shopping for hours, Rodents, Fettuccine, People who brag, Over Exaggeration, Drama, Gossip, iPhones, and Instagram.